Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
I can feel impatience, greed, apathy, self loathing, frustration, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, disappointment, shame and guilt inside my heart. I can feel them there because they have become raging forests of thorns and weeds. When I first encountered Christ my heart was flooded with light. There were definitely things that thrived only because I fed my flesh nature, but I could feel those things groaning in protest when I was letting the Holy Spirit cut the weeds down.
And things changed. Life happened to me. And I willingly made bad decisions. I let the flesh choke out the spiritual. It wasn’t an overnight ambush. Instead, I felt a slow descent into this state. The enemy loved it, too. I know he adores the tool of having Christians blinded into believing that overnight you become apathetic.
There are so many other places this is the case. You don’t gain fifty pounds overnight. It is the small daily choices that add on the weight. You don’t lose your mortgage payment because you develop a serious gambling problem overnight. It is the reoccurring intentional caving to temptation that deliver the ultimate consequences.
It didn’t happen overnight. But I became callous and bitter. I felt angry. And sometimes I still do. I am not perfect. I can claim that I am a Christian. And it has nothing to do with my ability to get things right every single time. Instead, it is because of His unfailing love. I’m not perfect, but He is.
This is my one word for the year: transplant. I need a spiritual heart transplant. I’m staking claim to it. I have to. This rotten to the core heart of mine will not do. It is tired, overrun, and it faintly beats. I want a ferocious, hear me roar, tenacious, warrior heart. I want it to break with God’s heart. I want it to beat in sync with His.
I hated 2011. I recovered during 2012. But I will be transformed this year. I will not make the same mistakes again, by the grace of God. I will dig in deep to the Word of God and base my life on His foundation.
That’s my one word. And I am so excited.