I have really grown accustomed to reserving the weekends to talk about whatever happens to cross my mind when I sit down to post a new entry. However, with so many crazy life changes happening all around me, I think that this Wildcard Weekend business is going to become my Weight-loss Weekend post.
This is coming at a pivotal moment in my life. I am a nanny! I love being a nanny! I relish the time that I have with the darling angels that I watch on a consistent basis. But, there is another one arriving VERY VERY soon! And that means that I am probably going to be stressed.
And stress only leads me down this dark treacherous path of being an emotional eater. Now, that shouldn’t be a terrible thing, right? What’s wrong with a few bad snacks every once in a while? Well, it stops being every once in a while. And then it becomes all of the stinking time. And I can’t handle that. I have 100+lbs that I need to lose to be considered in the healthy weight range for my height. That is scary. It is intimidating. It kind of makes me want to bust out some oreos and talk to them about my feelings.
But that’s what my life is going to turn into over the next few months. I am going to guard myself against that emotional eating. It terrifies me to lose control of my calories when I come home at the end of the day and zone out. I am going to get this weight off and keep it off.
I’ve said it before. And many times before that.
I don’t know that it is going to be different. It will be different because I can’t afford to keep living life this way. It isn’t that I have some unhealthy hatred of myself. I have grown tired of self-absorption. I like who I am. I am funny! I tell good stories! I’m pretty! I smell nice (most of the time)! I care about other people! And the ugly parts of my heart are what I am working on through Bible study and devotional times. Why can’t I work on making my outside pretty too?
Now, I’m not saying that I believe that you have to look a certain way to be beautiful. I think everyone has tremendous beauty, and I can’t even articulate the ways that people around me are beautiful without turning into a sobbing mess. I truly believe that people are beautiful with all of their flaws and shortcomings and quirks and differences. But, I want to be healthy.
So my friend, Ashley (name twin!) and I are challenging ourselves. May 17th is my first deadline. By May 17th I want to have lost 20lbs.
How do I resolve to do that?
- Continue to let Jillian Micheals make me cry like a baby as I keep pressing forward with 30 Day Shred.
- Move onto a Biggest Loser DVD when I finish the 30 Day Shred.
- Incorporate Running into my life again. (I love it. Then I hate it. Then I hate that I love it. Then I love that I hate it. I just need to stop making excuses and start doing it. I’m the only one holding me back.)
- Eat better. Now I’ve been doing 30 Day Shred, 12 days now. And I’m losing inches. But I’m not losing weight. Why? Because I’m a wreck in the kitchen. And I snack mindlessly. And I drink too much juice and lemonade and tea. I’m done with those things.
- So by eat better, I really mean eat better. I’m counting calories. Myfitnesspal : copiousmusings (be friends?)
- Tracking progress once a week.
So you will see my updates on my weight-loss journey during the weekend. Don’t care to learn about it? That’s okay, just tune me out during the weekend. But, motivation is going to be a driving force for me. I am excited/nervous/scared/sore/loving that this is all going into this opportunity to make this year the BEST YEAR EVER.