I get in this whirlwind daze of missing things, that I miss the things right in front of my face. I miss the beautiful, tiny, small, intricate details that are going to fit together just right and make some of the best moments of my life come to fruition. I miss the little fingerprints all over the house, and the messy spills, and how they are moments that I can extend grace to the darlings that I nanny. Or I can be hyper-critical and damage their poor sweet little souls. I miss the sunrises and the sunsets. I miss blowing kisses to the heavens when I see that God has orchestrated a clear night, a perfect view of starry expanse just so I remember that He is the creator of all things.
I am thankful that I was forced out of my comfort zone in college. I had tremendous love from so many avenues that I didn’t even know what to do with myself. But there were people that will always have a special nook and cranny of my heart, even after years of communication has dried up. I look forward, eagerly, to a party in Heaven with so many precious ones that I have met on the way.
Today I am thankful that I have been forced to say goodbye and hello and see you laters throughout my life. I am thankful that I went to college and have seen less than 10% of those people since. I am not celebrating that so much distance has come to be between me and those beautiful people. Except, I am celebrating that. I learned a lot in having to let people go that I never thought possible.
I still dread the very thought of being rejected. But having healthy moments of goodbyes and doors closing because that’s what life has tossed at me? That has taught me that all goodbyes don’t equal up to some tremendous failure on my part. People come and go and that’s okay. I don’t have to take personal offense to every moment that someone is whisked away from my communication radar. I can rest assured knowing that lives intertwine and overlap, and then they sever and unite forces somewhere else. And that’s just how life goes. There isn’t always some misstep on my account that causes that.
I’m thankful for growth and that I’m learning. And that’s always a wonderful thing.