Maybe it isn’t fair to rank the degrees of thankfulness. Though, I do believe that it is easiest to be thankful when the world is full of easier days. When there are less mountains of emotional treacheries to climb along the way, it is easier to spout out a list of praises and thanksgiving. The days when you have to choose thankfulness in spite of brokenness, I think those are the days when thanksgiving matters most.
Don’t mistake this for me saying that it doesn’t matter whether or not you are thankful during good times. I don’t think that it is of any less value to be thankful when you are surrounded by the spring of your soul. But, I think that it is a salve to a wound when you can find things to be thankful for in the middle of the darkest winter night of your soul.
These days I pendulum swing back and forth from emotions. I am not some emotional wreck at the verge of a nervous breakdown. These are emotions that are necessary, and warranted in the situations that I’ve encountered. But, this is a season where thanksgiving is far from second nature.
I find myself thankful that these days don’t last forever. Knowing that spring follows winter (in terms of literal seasons and figurative emotional seasons) affords me a moment of peace. Simply trusting that there will be a tomorrow that will not feel like today brings me some sense of purpose, and drive to push through the snowy, blizzardy feelings and strive for sunshine and new blooms.
I am thankful that there is a reason to smile in the midst of my tears and anger. I don’t always know, no, I don’t ever know what God has in store for me. But I trust that as I continue to stretch towards Him, like a flower growing towards the Sun, that there will be a new blossom on this winter-worn stem.