I have to spend some time apologizing to you. I have done an incredible disservice to you, treating you the way that I have my entire life. I treated you as if you were some junk yard car that I could joyride and one day dump on the side of the road, with the hopes of finding a new ride to commandeer. That means that, instead of giving you the appropriate fuel to keep running, I gave you whatever I found cheap and quickly.
Instead of giving you the appropriate nutrients and vitamins, I settled for whatever I found that would satiate what I mistook for hunger. I went so long assuming that you were always hungry, that I chocked you full of chemicals and preservatives that you couldn’t use to function.
I hated you. I spoke poorly of you to myself, and out loud to others. I complained about how sluggish, disgusting, and vile you were. I attacked you with self-mutilation, bouts of starvation, and fancy flirtations with disordered eating. I regarded you as something that I could be rid of when I was tired of you.
But that simply isn’t the case.
You’re one body. You’re all that I get. And I’m taking back the power. Instead of running around hoping that I can keep going on what I put into you–I know that I can. I’m getting educated about the necessity of natural foods and the dangers of all of the chemicals I once digested and labeled as food.
I know that you dread the days that I force you to work out, or run when you don’t want to. But, I promise you, it will be worth it. With all of this hard work and dedication, one day you will be at a weight where menial tasks seem effortless. One day you will be so strong and resistant that none of this will seem insane or as vanity. But you have to keep going too.
Body, this is what I’m doing for you.