Call Me What You Will

i am a ghost

 

Two-faced. A liar. A thief. A beauty. A beast. A whore. A saint. A sinner. A loser. A winner. A lover. A fighter. A prize. A pill.

Labels. I’ve had my share of positive ones and my share of negative ones. Some of the labels strapped onto me, I know I deserved. Some of them were malicious and vindictive. Some hurt much more than others. Some will always have wounds that can be tender if struck with just enough force.

In elementary school I was a prodigy and every one thought I was brilliant. I was advanced in my reading and English skills and that made me stick out from the rest of my classmates.

In middle school I was the girl finding ways to tow the line. I would find myself doing just enough to not be doing right, but not enough to be doing wrong. In middle school I lived my life in the shades of grey areas. I would experiment, knowing full well going into it that it was wrong. But it was always the sorts of things that I could walk away and say that I didn’t know any better.

In high school I was the reckless, loud mouth who paid no mind to the people around her. I worked hard on self-preservation, no matter the price others had to pay to ensure that. I was an addict, a freak, a depressed maniac who spent so much time with self-destruction that other people didn’t really fit into my pathway.

College, I was the studious, rebel who wasn’t quite sure about Christianity. I pushed all of the rules to the very edge, and broke more tan I should have. I was the broken one who needed a strong does of humbling from God and others around me to bring me off of my high horse.

Post college I learned a lesson that I keep learning. I don’t know if you have those sort of truths. You hear them, and you know them to be true. But you don’t commit them to your heart, so you find yourself in many different situations where you have to keep learning that lesson.

Post college I discovered that labels may describe you, but they don’t have to define you. Someone may call you something, and it may be true, but that isn’t who you are at the very core. Your identity is something that no one can erase from you, no matter the labels that they strap to you.

What sort of labels are you letting define you, presently?

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